Murderous assassins and secret operatives appear to be hiding in more commonplace locations.

Do you recall "The Accountant" starring Ben Affleck? or Shia LaBeouf's "The Tax Collector"? Or, from a more modern film, how about Adam Eckhardt in "The Bricklayer"? Since none of these films were particularly Oscar winners, you probably don't. However, a notary public is undoubtedly wondering when he will receive his Liam Neeson treatment.


The new vengeance thriller starring Jason Statham, "The Beekeeper," might have them all beat, or at least bee-ten. The director of the movie, David Ayer (who also helmed "The Tax Collector"), has discovered what is perhaps the greatest difference between a law-abiding profession and a brutal murderer to date. As the number of dead rises, so do the puzzled looks from people wondering what's causing all the chaos. "A beekeeper?" they ask in repeated, shocked voices.

You really can, my dear. That absurd assumption is taken as far as possible by "The Beekeeper," and then much further. You've found the movie if you've been looking for one in which Jason Statham makes an absurd number of solemn promises to "protect the hive."

The bee metaphors — there is even, rather impressively, a “To bee or not to bee” reference — come fast and furious in “The Beekeeper,” a movie that flirts with a so-bad-it's-good vibe but is too serious to quite pull it off. It can be divertingly bonkers, but ends up a rather grim and slipshod “John Wick” ripoff.

Kurt Wimmer wrote the screenplay for the movie, which opens with one of the most ridiculous inciting moments in recent memory. Statham is a lowly beekeeper for Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad) on a New England farm. She is soon defrauded of all of her money, including the $2 million charity fund she oversees, by a phishing scam. When Eloise contacts a number that appears on her screen, a slick con artist named David Witts talks her into giving up her credentials. At the same time, he uses the call to teach a group of hackers, who applaud him like the clever stock traders in "The Wolf of Wall Street."


Eloise doesn't press CTRL-ALT-DELETE or even call the fraud department of her bank. She kills herself. And guess who's mad? The beekeeper.

Eloise's daughter, Verona (a good Emmy Raver-Lampman), is an FBI agent who throws herself into the case. But meanwhile Statham's beekeeper, after a well-placed call, gets the location of the call center. He turns up with a few tanks of gasoline and some terse words about, you know, the hive, and burns down the place, killing a few people along the way.

That brings the attention of higher-ups. Only the guy in charge is a 28-year-old twerp named Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson, enjoying himself) who brashly underestimates his new enemy at every step of the way. His entitlement is owed to his rather good connections. He's protected by the former head of the CIA, Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons) and happens to be the son of the U.S. president (Jemma Redgrave).

Fingers get cut off and bodies accumulate as our man — his name turns out to be Adam Clay — tears through the criminal apparatus with ruthless blunt force. Statham, who has both the look and personality of a bullet, dispatches anyone in his path with the kind efficiency I dream of bringing to opening a pickle jar. A few twists of the wrist and he's done.

Clay, brace yourselves, isn't just an actual beekeeper. He's a retired Beekeeper, an elite, clandestine secret service that operates well off the government books and that adopts a surprising amount of its mission statements from the natural way of bees. They have a whole secret order and stuff, bringing “The Beekeeper” into plainly “Wick”-ian — and less fun — territory.

Yes, this silly beekeeper thriller goes all the way to the top. As the movie's renegade protagonist makes his way closer and closer to the White House, with blood and chaos in his wake, “The Beekeeper” begins to feel like an uncomfortable B-movie crosspollination of today's conspiracy theory-marred political landscape, with a violent, self-appointed guardian of America slashing his way toward the president. Most of the dead bodies are secret service.

Unsettling ideas perhaps for a film about beekeepers. Ayer's film largely consists of amusing world-building, even though the hero seems more fitting for the role of Mr. Bean. Furthermore, unlike John Wick, who was initially inspired to take action when his dog died, Clay remains unfazed when his honeycombs are blasted to pieces. This guy doesn't even truly care about bees.

The Motion Picture Association has rated MGM's "The Beekeeper," which features intense violence throughout, profanity throughout, some sexual themes, and drug usage, a R rating. Running time: 105 minutes. Out of four stars, two