New York, Dec 20, (V7N) - Lilly Jay, the ex-wife of actor Ethan Slater, has publicly opened up about the painful and highly publicized split from her husband, which followed his rumored romance with pop star Ariana Grande. The divorce, which has been widely discussed in the media, especially after it was revealed that Slater and Grande’s relationship allegedly began while both were ending their marriages, has taken a personal toll on Jay. In a candid essay published in The Cut, she shares her emotional journey and the complex feelings surrounding the breakup.

Jay, who is a clinical psychologist with a focus on women’s mental health, reflects on the shock of her marriage ending, especially after recently becoming a mother. "No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, in the same way we don't board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced," Jay writes. The timing of the split—just after the birth of their son—made the situation even more difficult, compounded by the media frenzy surrounding her ex-husband's new relationship with Grande.

The separation between Jay and Slater was brought to the public’s attention last summer, amid rumors of a romance between Slater and Grande, his co-star in the upcoming film Wicked. The pair reportedly started their relationship after both ended their respective marriages, with Grande also having been previously married to Dalton Gomez. Jay did not shy away from expressing her anger and frustration about the situation, calling Grande "not a girl’s girl" and criticizing her actions in an interview with Page Six, stating that her family had become "collateral damage."

In her essay, Jay reveals that she misses the "life of invisibility" she had previously enjoyed before the scandal. However, she is trying to move forward by focusing on her role as a mother, prioritizing her son’s well-being and maintaining a strong co-parenting relationship with Slater. Despite the breakdown of their marriage, Jay emphasizes that the love they share for their son remains unwavering. "Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child," Jay writes. "While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided."

Though Jay has had to confront the emotional turmoil of her marriage ending publicly, she touches on the success of Wicked, which has grossed over $531 million to date, marking a major achievement for the film and its stars. Jay, however, acknowledges the conflicting emotions this success brings, as it is tied to "the saddest days" of her life.

The couple reportedly finalized their divorce in September, and Jay reflects on the personal and professional impact of the public breakup. In her essay, she contemplates how her high-profile situation might help her connect with patients. Jay sees the media attention as an "opportunity" to use her own experience of loss and grief in her practice, stating, "Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours."

She concludes by acknowledging the difficult juxtaposition of her career helping others through sensitive and emotional experiences while also navigating her own personal upheaval. "I cannot resolve the incongruity of a career in helping others prepare for the exquisite fragility and beauty of pregnancy and postpartum and then having my own world upended. But I can start hearing myself when I tell patients that avoidance maintains fear, and maybe it's time to accept that I'm not unknown anymore," Jay writes.

Jay’s powerful essay offers an honest and raw glimpse into her personal struggles following a public divorce, while also highlighting her resilience and determination to move forward in both her personal and professional life.

END/SMA/NYC/RH/